It was the summer of 2022. I was in the last year of middle school. My classmates had gathered around me, and we were talking together. Everyone knew that I was always in different thoughts, so they found it normal when I suddenly said anything. And suddenly, I said, “I’m going to drop out of school.” Everyone thought I said it only in that moment, because I was the best student in the school, so saying something like that seemed very strange to them. I tried to explain to them that I really meant it — school had started to interfere too much with the steps I wanted to take in my life.

Another thing was that our families always believed school was the only path to salvation, yet they still didn’t even know what salvation really was. As the days and months passed, I tried to prepare myself in the best way I could. I had about a year and a half ahead of me, and that was quite enough for me. Even though I was sure I would drop out of school, I would still take the final exam — because I wanted to show my darkness to people there.

I had two possibilities in front of me: to spend the rest of the school year preparing only to leave school, or to completely finish my preparations for leaving and immediately start studying for the high school exam. I was playing a game with my own life, but this game would never be repeated, so I had to make the best moves. I completed all my preparations for leaving school right away and started studying for the high school exam. I felt like I was preparing for the opening scene of a movie, and I was aware of everything. I remember looking at my friends one last time as I walked out of the exam on the last day of school, and falling into deep thoughts.

I was only 13, but the decisions I made and all the plans I created in my mind made me very mature. School was over now. Time was passing so fast; I had been counting the days for that moment, and at the same time imagining every possible scenario in my mind. After a while, the result of which high school I got into was announced. I had been accepted into one of the best high schools in the city. This was both good and bad news for me. I had proven to my family that I could achieve anything when I truly wanted to — but leaving the best high school and coming back home… that was going to be the hardest part.